When was the last time you tried something new?
I cannot recollect the product that used this caption, but the thought has always stayed with me. So, when I started thinking about when was the last time I changed my mind on a subject, this line jumped out at me. We live in a world of echo chambers. On Facebook, Twitter and other social media platforms, we surround ourselves with people who think like us and have the same views as us. Earlier, if I had a friend who thinks differently, I would just unfollow them without unfriending them. This was done so I didn’t have to hear what they had to say, since their thoughts and words were jarring to me.
Around a year ago, I realized that I wasn’t getting any alternate perspectives on subjects about which I felt strongly. I went about refollowing all those friends that I had unfollowed earlier. My Facebook and Twitter feeds became a lot more interesting. It wasn’t just a gang of liberals screaming into a void anymore.
By letting other points of view into my space, I found that my feeds became a lot more interesting and engaging.
The conversations I had on the Sabarimala issue earlier this year is a case in point. Coming from a purely liberal point of view, with only a Catholic foundation of thought to fall back on, I was shocked that there was so much pushback on the issue of letting women enter a temple. I made my thoughts known on my social media. While I got a lot of affirming responses, what was more interesting were the friends who were against the move. Of the many opposing the opening of the temple to women of menstruating age, I found two groups most interesting – women and people with daughters. I would think that these two groups would have the most invested in removing taboos around menstruation and beliefs holding back women.
In the beginning, I was very frustrated by the lack of understanding by my friends on the issue. But later I realized that I was, maybe, giving the issue more importance than it merited from the perspective of empowering women. Unlike issues such as sati and child marriage, this was not an issue that in any way inconvenienced women. It neither put them in harm’s way nor refused them any tangible benefit.
I don’t think I would have come to this realization unless I had engaged with the other side. It took long conversations, some seemingly where we talked past each other, to help me see the other side’s point of view. While I remain committed to women’s rights and freedoms, this conversation helped me see things from another perspective. Whether I changed my mind or not, is actually beside the point. What is important is that I see which side they are approaching this issue from and hence, I am more understanding of their stance on the issue.
Of course, for this to work, you need friends who are ready to talk and not scream. You need friends who you respect and who respect you, not for the stance on one issue but respect the person.
Let’s open our walls and feeds to more people who don’t think like us or hold views different from ours.
Comments