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Writer's pictureVinay Payyapilly

The Literate Illiterate

India is a country of divisions and groups.

Here you can be a Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian or any of the other hundred religions to be found.

Here you can be lower class, middle class, lower middle class, upper middle class, or upper class.

Here you can be illiterate, literate enough to go to a bank or post office and carry out a transaction, school literate, college literate or self literate.

However, in this last set of groups there is one that is often missed out – the literate illiterate. The ones who are educated but choose to behave like they were not. The members of this groups can be easily identified by any of these following actions*:

Bad road manners

  1. Park in No Parking zones

  2. Stop the car/bike wherever they happen to be at the moment their cellphones ring, so they can answer it.

  3. Overload vehicles with people or materials

  4. Take u-turns on flyovers

  5. Take u-turns over road dividers

  6. Change lanes without indicators

  7. Use indicators to tell vehicles around them what THEY should do

  8. Hail a taxi or autorikshaw without regard for whether there is stopping space available

Bad hygiene

  1. Relieve themselves at the stop where nature decided to call

  2. Spit without regard of where they are, even out of moving vehicles

  3. Drop containers at the spot they have dispensed their goods

Inability to comprehend machinery

  1. They press the Up or Down call button for an elevator depending on the position of the elevator and not the direction they want to travel

  2. Seem to think that all cellphone calls have to be answered immediately, even when they have Called ID activated and can return the call later

  3. Think that ALL music sounds good when its played loud

*This is only a partial list. Due to the sheer audacity of the members of this group, it is impossible to compile a comprehensive list.

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